Wednesday April 7, 2010
Playdate Therapy
Before giving birth to my son, I never thought much about playdates. But after he was born and the months began fly by, I started to realize that my boy was growing up. He needed to be around others so that he could learn from them, grow up with them, and embrace childhood together as friends.
Thinking about it all gave me an uncomfortable feeling because that meant that I had to interact with other moms. Moms who would be older than I and more advanced in their lives. Moms that may possibly turn their noses up at me because I am not yet on their level.
Some playdates go bad.
Overly judgmental moms do exist.
We don’t have this, we’re not yet.
What about the ice breaker moment?
I’ll probably have to answer questions I wish I didn’t have to.
All of these thoughts swarmed through my head at once.
How would I connect with moms who shared my same interests and ambitions? How would I connect with moms who would accept me for who I am in what I thought to be my imperfect life?
Luckily I found a group of girls who I am blessed to have in my life. Surprisingly they all blog or did at one point in time. We all have much in common, we agree, and we respectfully disagree. We are of various ages; twenties and thirties, me being the youngest but not at all the oddball. Each Wednesday get together is like therapy. We are able to talk and listen (it’s my nature to listen), sip coffee and enjoy a potluck brunch while the kids play.
The kids, they get along so well. I remember our first playdate. We were welcomed with hugs. It felt like home. Jayden walked right on in, grabbed a toy, and smiled at the other children. He exchanged hugs and kisses too. He obviously gets his social genes from his dad, not that he greets random people with open arms and a pucker.
I honestly don’t know where I’d be if it weren’t for our Wednesdays. I’d probably feel all alone and sheltered still waiting for things to be perfect enough for me to mingle with other moms. My son would still be waiting to splash in the mud for the first time.
My dear brunchettes,
I love you.
Do you attend playdates? Have you ever been apprehensive about attending them? How’d you find your group?
- Category: Notes From Mama
- (18) Comments
Playdate Therapy | Sophistishe
April 7th, 2010 at 2:21 pm
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Carrington
April 7th, 2010 at 2:33 pm
Oh I miss my brunchettes! You girls were there for me at such a crucial time in my life. I love you and miss you!
Michelle Pendergrass
April 7th, 2010 at 2:50 pm
Love you too, girlfriend. (((hugs)))
Jennae @ Green Your Decor
April 8th, 2010 at 10:19 am
I need to take a cue from you. My daughter used to do all her socializing at school, but ever since she was diagnosed, she’s been at home. I know that she misses spending time with other kids. And although I don’t have much of a desire to socialize with other moms, I’m willing to bet play dates would be good for both of us
Jenn
April 8th, 2010 at 9:20 pm
To be honest, I have never attended or even attempted to organize a playdate because of your exact thoughts. The idea of being sized up, judged, held to standards, etc., really has me spazzed out. :/
MommyBrain
April 9th, 2010 at 1:16 pm
We used to belong to a group back in California, and tried one here in NC.. They have their good and bad points. The girls loved hanging out with their friends, and the adult conversation kept me sane. I just hated it when one sick kid would come and make everyone else sick. I guess you can only do so much… I have also had bad experiences where it got too gossipy and wasn’t worth the frustration…
Honestly.. I can’t wait for the girls to get to school…
1stopmom
April 16th, 2010 at 5:13 pm
You are doing really good. Sometimes those type of questions still pop into my head. Social situations still bring my anxiety, some more than others but I am getting better. I never did the whole playdate thing when my kids were younger. I was too nervous. But I think I may have to dive into a little more because my youngest(7)wants to play with kids her age, not just her brother and sisters.
.-= 1stopmom´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
Carol
July 4th, 2010 at 2:22 pm
I'm a veteran mom…four kids. Play Dates have been a staple in my kids' lives. But I am sort of a Nervous Nellie, and I would only agree to it if I knew the mom and child very well. I just never felt comfortable letting my child go somewhere I was unfailiar with, and with people I didn't know that well.
amy pugmire
July 4th, 2010 at 11:10 pm
I have had some of the same thoughts. we just moved to a new state and now I have to start all over trying to find a play group. but I agree and do think it's important.
melanie b
July 9th, 2010 at 8:01 am
that's awesome that you found a group to connect with! It's really hard sometimes because just like high school, women are clickish
Mommy Instincts
July 9th, 2010 at 7:43 pm
Yes. Going to the playdates have been hard for me too. I always say to myself, "It's so much work to get the kids ready, drive all the way there, deal with them missing naps…." but in the end, it is all worth it! Love you girl!
tanyetta
July 12th, 2010 at 11:25 am
I used to host a baby ONLY playdate when the older kids were in school. Now that it's summer, I find myself missing my playdate mommies. We're all so busy now that school is out!
Carrie
July 13th, 2010 at 12:53 pm
We bring my boys to local playgroups run by a group I used to work for. They are great, but noth the same as at home playdates, wish I could do more of these
Elenna
July 19th, 2010 at 9:40 pm
I could never have made it through early babyhood without my "Friday moms." Thank goodness for the 10 year college reunion and the pregnancy bathroom needs- on line for the ladies' I ran into an old friend also expecting. We met three weeks after her daughter was born and two after mine. A week later she brought a friend from her building with a baby the same age, and again a new friend the week after. Soon we were 6 with 6 babies born within the month. All in the trenches together. It's so much easier now with our older toddlers, but we still meet weekly and it is still the highlight of my week.
Denise G
July 20th, 2010 at 6:18 pm
I'd love to join a play date group.. however I haven't found any I can just walk to. Not having a car all day makes us seek out other options. We pop out the stroller and walk to story time at the library, there is always an impromptu playgroup afterwards and the chance to talk to other moms, which feels so luxurious when I'm just with the little ones most of the time.
Amber Davis
August 1st, 2010 at 6:46 pm
I hate feeling judged by other moms. I try to do my best and I think that is all that matters.
LINDA R.
August 3rd, 2010 at 5:00 am
I never thought i would like playdates especially being a first time mom, but the first time i took my daughter to a playdate i was so glad. It gave me the opportunity to talk to other mothers who had the same concerns I had or who where more than glad to give me tips on how to handle certain situations. I now look forward to play dates.
amber rose
August 3rd, 2010 at 7:14 am
I have never attended a playdate, for the same reasons you listed above. I am a rather shy person, and am afraid to step out and find a playgroup for my child to enjoy. I know she would love it, perhaps I could arrange a play date with my neighbor and her little girl. thanks for the great article.